So, you’ve just gotten out of a relationship. It’s hard. It’s painful. So many tears- trust us… we’ve been there. Maybe all you want is to hear from that person, or possibly never hear from them again. Either way, let us guide you through this process.
Let’s just take a moment to remember your worth and that you broke up for a reason. Think about why you two are no longer together. And now, let’s move forward, shall we?!
Our breakup recovery will get you through it. This system boils down to a few key action items in no particular order, EXCEPT for the “sleep well” section, because that is by far the most important.
Cry It Out
No Contact Rule
Move your body
Talk to someone
Eat nourishing foods
Self Love & Personal Development
Reduce The Booze
#1 - Sleep Well
Podcasts To Learn About Sleep:
5 Things To Help You SleepListen On Apple Podcasts
You’re going to learn about the science behind timing your meals for optimal sleep, how improving your air quality can help you sleep better, and why connecting with the earth is an essential human practice.
Why Sleep Is Your SuperpowerListen On Apple Podcasts
Why do we sleep? What exactly happens when we sleep and why is it so important? What are the implications of sleep deprivation? And what can we do to improve our sleep hygiene?
Relearn How To BreatheListen On Apple Podcasts
Mikhaila and James Nestor spark up an interesting conversation about sleep apnea. They discuss the effects of sleep apnea in addition to some ways of reducing it.
Books & Products To Help You Get Incredible Sleep:
Sleep Smarter BookBuy On Amazon or Listen On Audible
Sleep, Interrupted BookBuy On Amazon or Listen On Audible
Weighted BlanketShop On Amazon
100% Light Blocking Window FilmBuy On Amazon
Blackout Dot Stickers For ElectronicsBuy On Amazon
Blackout CurtainsBuy On Amazon
Mack’s EarplugsBuy On Amazon
White Noise MachineBuy On Amazon
Cooling Mattress PadBuy On Amazon
100% Linen BeddingBuy On Amazon
Lip Mask To Apply Before Mouth TapingBuy On Amazon
Mouth TapeBuy On Amazon
Nasal Breathing StripBuy On Amazon
Nasal MistBuy On Amazon
Essential Oil DiffuserBuy On Amazon
Daytime OilsBuy On Amazon
Nighttime OilsBuy On Amazon
Back Sleeping PillowBuy On Amazon
1. Total Darkness: In the absence of light, the brain sends a signal to the body indicating that it is time to rest. ... In addition to regulating our melatonin levels, sleeping in complete darkness helps lower the risk of depression. Having light sources of any type in your bedroom can disrupt your sleep patterns. And even using an eye mask is not going to be 100% effective for most people. Did you know that your skin actually has receptors that can pick up light? If there’s light in your bedroom, your body is picking it up and sending messages to your brain and organs that can interfere with your sleep. The best solution is: Black it out!
100% Light Blocking Window Film: https://amzn.to/3Gq2Jet
Blackout Dot Stickers For Electronics: https://amzn.to/3GvkJ79
Blackout Curtains: https://amzn.to/3AZAiD3
2. Total Silence: The quality of your sleep matters just as much as the amount you get. Loud sounds can wake you up out of a deep sleep which has lasting effects, even if you wake up only for a few seconds. It takes time for your body to return to that phase of deep sleep that your body needs after a full day. Complete silence is scientifically proven to be the most beneficial for human beings and sleep. However, if you fall asleep easier with noise-masking, white noise or pink noise – that’s alright. It is pretty clear that these devices work the best when there’s lots of environmental noise (which obviously isn’t good in the first place).
Sound Machine: https://amzn.to/3GpVh2Q
Read this article: https://quieton.com/silence-vs-noise-masking/
3. Cool Temperature: Studies have found that the optimal room temperature for sleep is around 62 to 68F. Anything too far above or below this range will likely cause some difficulty sleeping. Your body goes through a process called thermal regulation every night at around 9:00 PM on average. It does this to lower your core body temperature to create the ideal environment for deep sleep — essentially, your body cools you off to sleep better.
Cooling Mattress Pad: https://amzn.to/3GJ69ct
Linen Bedding: https://amzn.to/3HvOaXW
TSC X Canopy Humidifier: https://getcanopy.co/products/tsc-humidifier
4. Nasal Breathing: One study published in December 2013 in the journal Neuroreport found that mouth breathing can lead to high blood pressure, heart problems, and sleep apnea. Mouth breathing also worsens asthma, may cause cognitive dysfunction, and deprives the heart, brain, and other organs of optimal oxygenation. Also something you probably didn’t think about.. “Not only does mouth breathing reduce the quality of your sleep, but it disrupts the balance of your oral microbiome and makes you more prone to tooth decay,” says Mark Burhenne, DDS, a family and sleep medicine dentist in Sunnyvale, California. Dr. Barhenne believes mouth breathing is the number one cause of cavities — even ahead of eating a thousand chocolate chip cookies and not brushing your teeth. So how do you fix mouth breathing?
Lip mask to apply before mouth taping: https://amzn.to/3rrGPmK
Mouth tape: (the other link was sold out) https://amzn.to/3350Rds
Nasal breathing strips: https://amzn.to/34EzLKl
Nasal mist for everyday congestion: https://amzn.to/3rvaxr3
Listen to this podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-model-health-show/id640246578?i=1000527306849
Read this article: https://www.everydayhealth.com/sleep/mouth-taping-cheapest-life-hack-better-sleep/
5. Smells: Never eat in the bedroom… EVER. It can attract bugs, it anchors the wrong associations for the bedroom's purpose, and it creates a smell on the walls, sheets, carpet etc. Another great way to control the smell of your environment is to use an essential oil diffuser, and choose different oils for day and night. Many of the alternatives to diffusers —such as candles, air fresheners, and plugins—can release toxins into the air. By opting for essential oils, you get a better, purer aroma, because essential oils come straight from the plant.
Essential oil diffuser: https://amzn.to/3gpIWRE
Daytime oils: https://amzn.to/3GDag9W
Nighttime oils: https://amzn.to/3GBjbbz
6. Sleep Position: Sleep on your back with a slight incline at your head/neck/shoulders/upper back. You want your body to be straight throughout, with no rotation. Sleeping on your back protects your spine, and it can also help relieve hip and knee pain by using gravity to keep your body in alignment over your spine. This can help reduce any unnecessary pressure on your back or joints. To help stay in this position, use a weighted or heavy blanket for the “cocoon effect.” A weighted blanket helps prevent tossing and turning throughout the night by making you feel protected and relaxed.
Back Sleeping Pillow: https://amzn.to/3osYKaT
Weighted Blanket: https://amzn.to/3urLt68
#2 - Cry It Out
Take mental health days. Watch Gilmore Girls. Sit with your feelings. At Blueprint to Breakup we believe in sitting with your feelings and being in silence for a little bit. Work through everything within your own little head.
Here are some podcasts we love to listen to on our mental health days:
She Cheated On Me And That’s Not AllListen On Apple Podcasts
Cracking The Code Of LoveListen On Apple Podcasts
The Best Relationship Advice, by Oprah & Maya AngelouListen On Apple Podcasts
And some books to read on your silent introvert days:
Happy, Sexy MillionaireBuy On Amazon or Listen On Audible
Leave A Cheater, Gain A LifeBuy On Amazon or Listen On Audible
How To Do The WorkBuy On Amazon Or Listen On Audible
#3 - No Contact Rule
Out of sight out of mind. This is really fucking important. Block all contact, including email and social media. This is so effective because it allows you to sit with your grief and wounds and not plug up any holes or feelings of brokenness with someone else. It gives you both a chance to heal, make space, and move through the confusing transition. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 day *this is hard for most people so lets use my therapist’s outlook which is to set short term no contact rules aka (lets not talk until next friday- because that is still a boundary but doesn't feel like a death you know??)s, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media. NO exceptions.
Read the section of this article titled ‘Use "Feature Less" in the People album’ within this article: https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT207103
#4 - Journal
Journaling means writing down your thoughts and feelings to understand them more clearly. You’ll be amazed at how far your pen can go. If you struggle with stress, depression, or anxiety, keeping a journal can help you gain control of your emotions and improve your mental health.
Get what’s called the 5 minute journal on Amazon: https://amzn.to/337baha
If you like more prompted journal topics, check out:
The Daily Stoic: https://amzn.to/3owP1Ab
The Daily Stoic Journal: https://amzn.to/3sjib73
Suggested Journals And Books:
The Five Minute JournalBuy On Amazon
The Daily StoicBuy On Amazon
The Daily Stoic JournalBuy On Amazon
#5 - Meditate
Meditate daily. 10-20 minutes minimum. You’ll suck in the beginning but this will change your life with consistency. The goal is to have a clear head for as long as possible. No thoughts at all. It’s not easy but everyday it gets a little bit better.
Read or listen to 10% Happier, a book By Dan Harris: https://amzn.to/3GDfZws
Pick an app to start guided meditations:
A popular one is Headspace. Choose “guided” and start with at least 10 minutes.
Also check out the Sam Harris meditation app, called “Waking Up”
The end goal is to be able to meditate in silence, but starting with these apps and guided meditation is a good way to ease into it.